


Staircase Wit

by FishPrincess



Series: HSWC 2014 Bonus Round 2 [8]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Mild Language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 18:37:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2239209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FishPrincess/pseuds/FishPrincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>L’ésprit d’escalier -- the moment you think of a perfect comeback too late. Translates to "Staircase wit." For HSWC Bonus Round 2. A response to a prompt by Dreamwidth user knightofdoom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Staircase Wit

**uu: HELLO DIRK.**  
uu: DIRK HELLO.  
uu: DIRK I AM SPEAKING TO YOU. OR DID YOUR HUMAN EARS BECOME DEAF. HAHAHA!  
TT: First of all, I'm busy.  
TT: Hate to break it to you, man. Even if I was deaf, it wouldn't stop me from being able to see your messages.  
TT: We see with our eyes, you know.  
uu: SHUT THE FUCK UP!  
uu: I AM NOT FUCKING STUPID. LIKE YOU.  
uu: EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE SMARTER. THAN THOSE BITCHES.  
uu: AND THE STUPID BOY. THAT GIVES A FUCKING TERRIBLE NAME. TO ALL BOYS.  
uu: BUT DIRK.  
uu: DIRK.  
uu: DIRK.  
TT: Still busy.  
uu: I DONT FUCKING CARE. YOU AND ME. ME AND YOU. US. WE ARE. MEN.  
TT: Did it take you this long to figure it out?  
uu: FOR BEING SO MUCH MORE COOL. THAN YOUR OTHER FRIENDS. YOU SURE SAY SOME FUCKED UP THINGS.  
uu: THAT ARE NOT TRUE AT ALL. SO YOU LOSE.  
uu: AND I HAVE BEEN THE WINNER ALL ALONG. HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
uu: BUT I HAVE COME TO YOU. WITH A SPECIAL REQUEST. THAT YOU CANNOT REFUSE.  
TT: One that I wouldn't want to refuse, or do I have no choice in the maTTer?  
uu: BOTH. BOTH STATEMENTS ARE CORRECT. BECAUSE I SAID THAT THEY ARE.  
TT: Well, shit.  
uu: THAT IS AN APPROPRIATE REACTION. I APPROVE.  
uu: I HAVE COME TO TELL YOU TO BE. MY HUMAN MANFRIEND. BECAUSE WE ARE MEN AND NOT BOYS.  
uu: AND YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY BY YOUR. UTTER COOLNESS. THAT I KNOW YOU HOLD THOSE FEELINGS. FOR ME AS WELL.  
uu: BUT I INSTEAD. ENJOY THE THOUGHT. OF TELLING YOU. TO ACTUALLY TOUCH MY FACE. AHHHH SO *DIRTY*.  
uu: AND MAYBE EVEN. WHEN WE MEET. WE CAN DO THE THING. WHERE WE ILLICITLY TOUCH HANDS.  
TT: Yeah, no.  
uu: WAIT. THAT WAS A STUPID ANSWER. YOU SAID YES AND NO. AT THE SAME TIME.  
TT: The answer's no.  
uu: BUT I SAID YOU DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE. AND I ALSO SAID. THAT YOU WOULD LIKE THE IDEA. AS MUCH AS ME.  
TT: That's not how this works. Anyway, like I said, I'm preoccupied. I can't talk right now.  
uu: NO. YOU WILL BE MY MAN FRIEND. AND WE WILL DO THE MUTUAL FACE TOUCHING.  
TT: Fuck no, dude. You're kind of insane. Bye.  
timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering undyingUmbrage [uu]  
uu: WHAT THE FUCK! DIRK.  
uu: DIRK  
uu: DIRK  
uu: DIRK.  
uu: DIRK COME BACK. YOU STUPID BOY. THATS RIGHT. I SAID IT. YOURE A BOY.  
uu: I AM THE MAN NOW. AND YOU ARE. THE CRAZY ONE.  
uu: FUCK.


End file.
